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Changes
in
Teen
Attitudes
Toward
Marriage,
Cohabitation
and
Children
1975
–
1995
The
Next
Generation
Series
Barbara
Dafoe
Whitehead
David
Popenoe
Introduction
The
current
cultural
climate
in
the
United
States
is
not
conducive
to
strong,
lasting
marriages
and
childrearing
by
stable
two-parent
families.
If we
hope
to
overcome
the
increasing
social
and
economic
impoverishment
of
our
nation’s
young
people,
the
tide
of
divorce,
fatherlessness,
and
out-of-wedlock
childbearing
must
be
stemmed.
As a
first
step,
it is
critical
that
we
listen
to
what
our
young
people
are
saying.
What
are
the
attitudes
of
American
teenagers
about
marriage,
cohabitation
and
children,
and
how
have
these
attitudes
changed
in
recent
decades?
The
period
for
which
we
have
good
trend
data,
and
the
focus
of
this
review,
is
1975-1995.
During
this
period
American
teens
have
expressed
a
growing
esteem
for
marriage,
family
and
monogamy.
In
thinking
about
the
future,
an
increasing
number
of
teens
say
that
marriage
and
family
life
are
"extremely
important"
to
them.
Most
want
their
marriages
to be
lifelong.
Yet
there
is
cause
for
much
concern.
Teens
and
young
adults
today
are
pessimistic
about
the
possibility
of
actually
having
a
stable,
two-parent
household,
and
increasingly
they
do
not
think
their
marriages
in
fact
will
last
a
lifetime.
Further,
many
teens
have
become
highly
tolerant
of
out-of-wedlock
childbearing,
single-parent
childrearing
and
nonmarital
cohabitation.
They
do
not
seem
to
fully
grasp
the
economic,
social
and
personal
costs
of
single
parenthood.
This
review
includes
statistics
from
a
variety
of
surveys
of
American
teenagers.
Much
of
the
information
comes
from
the
Monitoring
the
Future
surveys
of
high
school
seniors,
conducted
annually
since
1975
by
the
Survey
Research
Center
at
the
University
of
Michigan.
[Return
to
top]
Marriage
Marriage
is
viewed
as an
important
part
of
the
future
for
most
high
school
seniors.
They
say
they
most
likely
will
choose
getting
married
in
the
long
run,
and
this
attitude
has
increased
slightly
over
the
years
from
77%
in
1975
to
80%
in
1995
(Monitoring
the
Future).
In
1995
only
4% of
the
seniors
answered
that
they
probably
would
not
get
married,
with
the
remaining
16%
either
already
married
or
answering
that
they
"have
no
idea."
A
1992
Gallup
poll
of
youth
aged
13 -
17
years
found
an
even
larger
percentage
who
thought
they
would
marry
someday—88%
compared
with
9%
who
expected
to
stay
single.
Gallup
has
undertaken
a
youth
poll
several
times
since
1977
and
the
proportion
of
youth
expecting
to
marry
someday
has
not
varied
much
through
the
years
(Bezilla,
1993).
The
great
majority
of
high
school
seniors
also
strongly
believe
in
the
importance
of
marriage
and
family
life,
but
more
so
for
girls
than
for
boys.
Between
1980
and
1995,
there
was
an
increase
from
75%
to
78%
in
the
proportion
of
seniors
who
said
that
having
a
good
marriage
&
family
life
were
"extremely
important"
(another
14%
answered
"quite
important").
The
proportion
of
girls
who
agree
with
this
statement
is
consistently
9
-12%
higher
than
the
proportion
of
boys
(Monitoring
the
Future).
In a
recent
survey
of
the
nation’s
college
freshmen,
however,
there
was
not
much
difference
between
the
numbers
of
males
(70%)
and
females
(72%)
who
consider
raising
a
family
to be
an
"essential"
or
"very
important"
objective
(The
American
Freshman).
[Return
to
top]
Monogamy,
Length
of
Marriage
and
Divorce
While
the
overwhelming
majority
of
teens
say
that
they
value
a
good
marriage,
they
do
not
respond
quite
so
positively
to
questions
about
lifelong
marriage.
The
effects
of
our
divorce
culture
appear
to
have
reduced
their
expectations.
In
response
to
the
question,
"How
likely
do
you
think
it is
that
you
would
stay
married
to
the
same
person
for
life,"
only
61%
of
respondents
in
1995
thought
this
was
"very
likely,"
compared
to
65%
in
1975
(Monitoring
the
Future).
Girls
express
more
optimism
than
boys
in
answering
that
they
are
"very
likely"
to
stay
married
to
the
same
person
for
life
(64%
and
59%,
respectively,
in
1995).
(Compare
this
lack
of
conviction
about
lasting
marriage
to
the
almost
92%
of
teens
who,
in
1995,
said
that
marriage
and
family
life
were
"quite"
or
"extremely
important.")
Yet
high
school
seniors
seem
to
believe
in
monogamy
more
than
ever.
In
1975,
60%
disagreed
or
mostly
disagreed
with
the
statement:
"Having
a
close
intimate
relationship
with
only
one
partner
is
too
restrictive
for
the
average
person."
In
1995,
almost
70%
of
those
surveyed
disagreed
(Monitoring
the
Future).
Teens'
pessimism
about
lifelong
marriage
was
echoed
in
their
attitudes
about
divorce.
A
1993
Gallup
poll
found
that
only
23%
of
respondents
believe
that
divorcing
couples
try
hard
to
save
their
marriages
while
71%
believe
that
couples
do
not
try
hard
enough
(80%
of
older
teens
and
65%
of
younger
teens).
Also,
76%
of
teens
believe
that
divorce
laws
are
too
lax,
with
older
teens
again
predominating.
Data
from
another
source,
the
1987
wave
of
the
National
Survey
of
Children,
provide
further
information
about
teen
attitudes
toward
divorce
and
family
breakup.
According
to
this
source,
in
the
young
adult
category
(ages
18-22),
8 in
10
males
and 7
in 10
females
believe
that
children
do
better
with
both
parents,
and 2
in 3
believe
that
"when
parents
divorce,
children
develop
permanent
emotional
problems"
(Moore
and
Stief,
1991).
In a
similar
vein,
70%
of
youths
participating
in a
Gallup
Poll
(1994)
said
it is
better
for
teens
to
live
with
both
a
mother
and a
father.
Yet
28%
of
respondents
said
that
it is
not
necessarily
better
for
teens
to
live
with
both
parents.
The
1987
wave
of
the
National
Survey
of
Children
found
some
striking
racial
differences
in
youth
attitudes
about
marriage.
84%
of
non-black
youths
agreed
or
strongly
agreed
that
"unless
a
couple
is
prepared
to
stay
together
for
life,
they
should
not
get
married."
By
contrast,
only
63%
of
black
females
and
69%
of
black
males
agreed
or
strongly
agreed
with
the
statement
(Moore
&
Stief,
1991).
[Return
to
top]
Quality
of
Marriage
Teens
seem
to
have
become
more
pessimistic
about
the
chances
in
modern
society
for
having
a
happy
marriage.
High
school
seniors
participating
in
the
Monitoring
the
Future
survey
were
asked:
How
much
do
you
agree
or
disagree
with
the
statement,
"One
sees
so
few
good
or
happy
marriages
that
one
questions
it as
a way
of
life."
In
1975,
26%
agreed
or
mostly
agreed,
climbing
to
32%
in
1995.
At
the
same
time,
those
who
disagreed
or
mostly
disagreed
dropped
from
53%
to
42%.
Despite
this
increasing
concern
about
the
institution
of
marriage,
however,
most
high
school
seniors
feel
that
they
would
be a
"good"
or
"very
good"
spouse
(85%
in
1995
and
88%
in
1975).
[Return
to
top]
Marriage
and
Working
Wives
The
idea
of
married
women
working
outside
the
home
has
become
accepted
by
virtually
all
teens
in
America
today.
Of
the
13 -
17
year
olds
surveyed
by
Gallup
in
1993,
94%
said
that
having
a
career
is
very
important.
And
In a
survey
of
1,001
randomly
chosen
ninth
graders
(which
would
indicate
an
age
of
about
14
years)
in
St.
Paul,
Minnesota,
99%
of
the
girls
said
they
plan
to
work
after
getting
married,
and
85%
of
the
boys
expected
their
wives
to
continue
working
after
getting
married
(Stevens,
et
al.,
1992).
High
school
seniors
increasingly
believe
that
a job
does
not
detract
from
a
woman’s
relationship
with
her
husband.
In
1975,
66%
of
high
school
seniors
surveyed
"disagreed"
or
"mostly
disagreed"
that
"having
a job
takes
away
from
a
woman’s
relationship
with
her
husband."
By
1995,
the
figure
was
up to
75%
(Monitoring
the
Future).
Not
surprisingly,
a
greater
percentage
of
girls
than
boys
disagree
with
this
statement
(86%
vs.
65%).
High
school
seniors
who
were
told
to
imagine
that
they
were
married
and
had
no
children,
were
asked
the
question,
how
they
would
feel
about
the
wife
not
working
at
all,
while
the
husband
works
full-time?
The
percentage
of
both
boys
and
girls
who
said
that
this
was
"not
at
all
acceptable"
rose
between
1976
and
1995—from
14%
to
24%
for
boys,
and
from
37%
to
41%
for
girls.
(Monitoring
the
Future)
The
percentage
of
respondents
who
stated
that
it
was
"not
at
all
acceptable"
for both
spouses
to
work
full-time
dropped
from
20%
in
1976
to
only
8% in
1995,
while
those
saying
it
was
actually
"desirable"
for
both
spouses
to
work
full-time
increased
from
20%
to
31%.
[Return
to
top]
Cohabitation
Survey
research
indicates
a
remarkable
increase
in
the
acceptability
of
cohabitation
among
teens.
In
1975,
35%
of
high
school
seniors
agreed
or
mostly
agreed
that
"it
is
usually
a
good
idea
for a
couple
to
live
together
before
getting
married
in
order
to
find
out
whether
they
really
get
along."
By
1995,
the
figure
had
skyrocketed
to
59%
(Monitoring
the
Future).
This
supports
the
findings
of
the
National
Survey
of
Children
(1987)
that
"more
than
half
of
youth
endorse
living
together
before
marriage
as
making
‘a
lot
of
sense’"
(Moore,
1991).
High
school
seniors
were
also
asked
how
much
they
agree
or
disagree
with
the
statement:
"Most
people
will
have
fuller
and
happier
lives
if
they
choose
legal
marriage
rather
than
staying
single,
or
just
living
with
someone."
Somewhat
surprisingly,
the
percentage
of
girls
who
"disagree"
and
"mostly
disagree"
with
this
statement
is
consistently
higher
than
that
of
boys,
40%
for
girls
and
29%
for
boys
in
1995
(Monitoring
the
Future).
And,
while
the
proportion
of
girls
who
disagree
or
mostly
disagree
with
the
statement
has
remained
relatively
stable
since
1976,
there
has
been
a
decrease
in
the
proportion
of
boys
who
share
this
opinion
(from
35%
in
1976
to
29%
in
1995).
The
greatest
change
has
been
in
the
proportion
of
teens
expressing
no
opinion
to
the
statement,
increasing
from
24%
in
1976
to
31%
in
1995.
Perhaps
this
indicates
that
while
most
high
school
seniors
say
they
want
a
good
marriage
and
family
life,
when
faced
with
a
choice
between
marriage
and
cohabitation
many
do
not
have
the
conviction
to
say
that
marriage
will
provide
a
happier
life.
In
addition,
with
greater
societal
acceptance
of
cohabitation
and
of
expressive
individualism
in
general,
it
may
be
more
difficult
for
young
people
to
indicate
disapproval
of
any
lifestyle
choice.
By
1975,
the
first
year
of
the
Monitoring
the
Future
survey,
the
effects
of
the
sexual
revolution
were
already
evident
in
high
school
seniors’
responses
to
questions
about
the
acceptability
of
different
lifestyles,
especially
cohabitation.
Over
the
years,
respondents
have
been
asked
to
complete
the
following
statement:
"A
man
and a
woman
who
live
together
without
being
married
are...
(1)
experimenting
with
a
worthwhile
alternative
lifestyle,
(2)
doing
their
own
thing
and
not
affecting
anyone
else,
(3)
living
in a
way
that
could
be
destructive
to
society,
(4)
violating
a
basic
principle
of
human
morality,
or
(5)
none
of
the
above.
In
1976,
52%
of
seniors
said
that
two
people
who
live
together
are
"doing
their
own
thing
and
not
affecting
anyone
else."
This
figure
dropped
to
just
under
48%
in
1980
and
rose
to
55%
in
1995.
The
response
that
living
together
is
"experimenting
with
a
worthwhile
alternative
lifestyle"
garnered
a 19%
response
rate
in
1976,
increased
to
25%
in
1987,
and
dropped
back
to
18%
in
1995.
[Return
to
top]
Children
Having
Children
The
teen
years
are a
time
when
thinking
about
children
and
parenthood
is
not a
particularly
high
priority.
When
asked
about
the
likelihood
that
they
would
want
to
have
children,
the
percentage
of
high
school
seniors
stating
that
it’s
"very
likely"
has
been
relatively
stable,
59%
in
1975
and
62%
in
1995.
The
1993
Gallup
Poll
found
that
40%
of
the
13 -
17
year
olds
surveyed
think
that
having
children
is
"very
important",
while
44%
think
it is
"somewhat
important"
(only
15%
think
it is
"not
at
all
important").
Being
a
Parent
When
asked
to
respond
to
the
statement:
"Being
a
mother
and
raising
children
is
one
of
the
most
fulfilling
experiences
a
woman
can
have,"
the
overall
percentage
of
seniors
who
agree
has
also
been
steady
through
the
years
(33%
in
both
1975
and
1995).
Interestingly,
however,
the
valuation
of
motherhood
seems
to
have
increased
among
girls.
The
percentage
of
girls
agreeing
with
the
statement
was
six
percentage
points
higher
in
1995
(43%)
than
in
1975
(37%)
(Monitoring
the
Future).
Fatherhood
has
also
risen
in
esteem,
among
both
boys
and
girls.
When
asked
to
respond
to
the
statement:
"Being
a
father
and
raising
children
is
one
of
the
most
fulfilling
experiences
a man
can
have,"
the
percentage
of
seniors
saying
they
agree
was
about
nine
points
higher
in
1995
than
in
1975
(45%
vs.
36%).
The
majority
of
high
school
seniors
believe
that
mothers
and
fathers
should
spend
more
time
with
their
children
than
they
do
now.
However,
today’s
teenage
girls
plan
to
work
when
they
have
children.
In
the
1993
Gallup
Poll,
75%
of
teens
said
that
working
after
having
children
was
"very
important"
to
them,
and
19%
said
it
was
"somewhat
important."
Eighty-six
percent
(86%)
plan
to go
back
to
work
before
their
child
enters
first
grade.
Also,
high
school
seniors
today
do
not
seem
to
think
that
the
presence
of a
parent
in
the
home
during
a
child's
formative
years
is
that
important.
In
1995,
only
21%
of
boys
agreed
that
a
preschool
child
is
likely
to
suffer
if
the
mother
works,
a
drop
from
47%
in
1976.
Among
girls,
only
8%
agreed
with
the
statement
in
1995,
compared
to
29%
in
1976.
And
55%
of
girls
and
78%
of
boys
agreed
or
mostly
agreed
in
1995
that
a
working
mother
can
establish
just
as
warm
a
relationship
with
her
children
as a
mother
who
does
not
work.
In
general,
most
high
school
seniors
feel
that
they
would
be
"fairly
good,"
"good,"
or
"very
good"
as a
parent.
Indeed,
the
proportion
of
seniors
who
said
they
would
be a
"very
good"
parent
has
increased
significantly,
from
31%
in
1975
to
52%
in
1995.
It is
hard
to
think
of
what
reality
this
increase
might
be
reflecting.
Nonmarital
and
Teen
Childbearing
In
the
Monitoring
the
Future
survey,
high
school
seniors
were
asked
to
complete
the
following
statement:
A man
and a
woman
who
decide
to
have
and
raise
a
child
out
of
wedlock
are...1)
experimenting
with
a
worthwhile
alternative
lifestyle,
2)
doing
their
own
thing
and
not
affecting
anyone
else,
3)
living
in a
way
that
could
be
destructive
to
society,
4)
violating
a
basic
principle
of
human
morality,
or 5)
none
of
the
above.
In
1976,
34%
of
seniors
chose
"doing
their
own
thing";
by
1995,
this
increased
to
42%.
Concurrently,
there
was a
5-point
decline
in
those
who
said
that
having
a
child
out
of
wedlock
is
"living
in a
way
that
could
be
destructive
to
society"
(from
22%
to
17%.)
And
there
has
been
a
three
point
decline
in
those
who
say
this
would
"violate
a
basic
principle
of
human
morality"
(from
22%
to
19%).
Moore
and
Stief
(1991)
found
that
"fewer
than
1 in
20
youths
strongly
agree
that
‘single
women
should
not
have
children,
even
if
they
want
to.’"
However,
while
more
teens
than
ever
believe
that
it’s
all
right
for
single
woman
to
bear
children,
they
do
not
see
teen
parenting
in a
positive
light.
Using
data
from
the
1987
National
Survey
of
Children,
Moore
and
Stief
found
that
"a
substantial
majority
of
youths
agree
that
teenage
parenthood
is
one
of
the
worst
things
that
could
happen
to a
16-year-old"
(p.
370).
Another
investigation
of
adolescents’
expectations
regarding
marriage
and
childbearing
analyzed
data
from
the
1979
National
Longitudinal
Survey
of
Labor
Market
Experience
of
Youth
(Trent,1994).
Though
now
somewhat
dated,
the
sub-sample
consisted
of
6,684
never-married
male
and
female
adolescents
between
the
ages
14-19.
Most
of
the
youths
did
not
expect
to
marry
within
five
years,
to
have
a
child
before
age
20,
or to
have
a
nonmarital
birth
within
five
years.
But
results
varied
substantially
by
race.
29%
of
Black
adolescents
compared
to
13%
of
Hispanic
adolescents
and
11%
of
White
adolescents
expected
to
have
a
child
outside
of
marriage
within
5
years.
[Return
to
top]
Conclusion
Overall,
teens
think
that
having
a
good
marriage
and
family
life
is
important
and
most
say
that
it is
likely
they
will
get
married.
But
they
are
less
than
certain
that
their
future
marriages
will
last
a
lifetime.
In
the
1995
Monitoring
the
Future
Survey,
one-third
of
high
school
seniors
agreed
or
mostly
agreed
that
"one
sees
so
few
good
marriages
that
one
questions
it as
a way
of
life."
In
addition,
marriage
is
facing
stiff
competition
from
cohabitation.
Living
together
before
getting
married
was
considered
a
good
idea
by
almost
60%
of
high
school
seniors
in
1995.
And
when
asked
if
they
agree
or
disagree
with
the
statement
that
people
will
be
happier
if
they
choose
marriage
rather
than
staying
single
or
just
living
with
someone,
over
30%
of
the
students
said
"neither."
Apparently,
these
youths
do
not
have
the
evidence
to
convince
them
that
marriage
will
provide
a
happier
life.
Teen
responses
also
reflect
a
shift
in
views
about
work
in
the
context
of
childrearing,
especially
for
women.
In
general,
women
expect
to
work
after
getting
married
and
after
having
children,
with
almost
80
percent
of
females
believing
that
a
working
mother
can
establish
just
as
warm
a
relationship
with
her
children
as a
mother
who
does
not
work.
In
1995,
only
42%
of
teens
thought
it
was
unacceptable
for
both
spouses
to
work
full-time
when
there
was a
pre-school
child
at
home.
According
to
research
evidence,
child
wellbeing
is
associated
with
the
formation
of
strong
attachment
bonds
in
infancy
as
well
as
substantial
interactions
with
at
least
one
consistent
loving
caregiver,
usually
a
parent,
especially
during
the
first
three
years.
Although
the
evidence
does
not
support
the
idea
that
mothers
harm
their
children
by
working,
it
nonetheless
suggests
that
children
benefit
from
high
levels
of
parental
time
and
nurture.
(As a
rough
guideline,
the
"60-hour"
rule
is a
useful
measure;
that
is,
the
total
work
week
for
two
working
parents
of
very
young
children
should
be
kept
to
around
60
hours.)
From
the
standpoint
of
child
wellbeing,
therefore,
it is
not
reassuring
that
most
high
school
students
believe
it
makes
no
difference
if
both
parents
work
full-time.
Even
more
alarming
is
the
fact
that
over
50%
believe
a man
and a
woman
who
decide
to
have
a
child
without
being
married
are
either
"experimenting
with
a
worthwhile
lifestyle"
or
"are
doing
their
own
thing
and
not
affecting
anyone
else."
Responses
like
these
indicate
that
the
teen
population
does
not
have
an
adequate
understanding
of
the
enormous
parental
time
investment
involved
in
childrearing
or
the
effects
of
out-of-wedlock
childbearing
on
children’s
wellbeing
or
future
life
prospects.
The
evidence
points
to a
growing
gender
gap
in
teen
attitudes
on
several
crucial
measures.
Compared
to
teenage
boys,
teenage
girls
are
significantly
more
likely
to
approve
of
single
parenthood,
cohabitation,
and
staying
single
rather
than
marrying.
Since
young
women
typically
set
and
uphold
the
norms
of
love
and
family
relationships,
these
attitudes
represent
a
dramatic
departure
from
earlier
times.
From
these
data,
we
cannot
conclude,
as
some
optimistic
futurists
have
done,
that
we
are
witnessing
a
counterrevolution
among
youth
that
will
lead
to a
reversal
of
current
trends
of
family
breakup,
single
motherhood
and
cohabiting
unions.
In
the
final
analysis,
then,
the
surveys
point
up a
growing
disparity
between
teens'
ideals
of
marriage
and
family
life—which,
if
anything,
are
stronger
than
ever—and
their
pessimism
about
actually
achieving
those
ideals.
In
part,
this
disparity
may
reflect
the
teens'
own
life
experiences
in
growing
up
with
divorce,
single
parenthood
and
cohabitation.
It
also
surely
relates
to
the
general
cultural
shift
towards
tolerance
of
alternative
views
and
choices.
Teens
seem
to be
very
unwilling
to
condemn
their
peers'
choices
of
single
parenthood
and
cohabitation,
even
if
they
personally
would
not
make
these
choices.
[Return
to
top]
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[Return
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top]
©
Copyright
The
National
Marriage
Project,
1999
|
